Dear Lucy-Anne,
Although it has been almost 30 years since you were born on a hot July day 1993, you are still very much remembered, loved, and missed by your dad and me, and the two brothers who came after you. You are talked about by your two brothers Ronan and David, as if they had known you, keeping your wonderful memory alive for all of us.
Our first born, the anticipation of your arrival and the excitement at becoming parents was truly unimaginable. We looked forward to bringing you home and you growing up in the beautiful area we live in, in North Cork. We thought of the days when we would walk with you to the river to paddle and throw stones, the fun we would have. We spoke about where you would go to school, and what other babies born the same year would be in your class. Although we did not know if you were a boy or a girl, it didn’t matter, you were our first born and we were waiting to welcome you.
Sadly, your time in this world was short, but for your vigorous kicks we were never to know you awake and smiling. We had so looked forward to seeing you and hearing your first cry. The silence at your birth was deafening, no cry, no noise, nothing. That empty silence filling the room. Yet you were beautiful, with your round chubby face and black hair like your dads, and the weight of you in my arms that day, when the nurse finally handed you to me, I can still feel. 8lbs 10oz and beautiful. But still, so still. it was heartbreaking.
We are so sad that you missed out on the wonderful life you could and should have had. Growing up in the countryside, surrounded by the fields, making friends, going on sleepovers, learning about makeup, and developing your own personal sense of style, as only a young woman can. All our hopes and dreams were lost for you the day you were born. What would you be when you grew up, would you be a tom-boy, climbing trees and skinning your knees, or would you be a girly girl, surrounded by pink and ribbons, who knows? But no matter what you would have been, we would have supported you in every way. We would have so enjoyed seeing you all dressed up for your Communion, Confirmation and in later years, heading with some good-looking boy, to the debs, dressed in a beautiful dress. Or looking forward to the day when your dad might walk you down the aisle in your wedding day.
All these things you have been denied and we have been denied the joy of seeing you grow from a little girl into the beautiful woman we know you would have become. Who knows, maybe you would have been a famous dancer or writer or artist.
We are so blessed to have had you in our lives even for such a brief, sad time. You shaped the people we are today, by just simply being born, and for that we will always be grateful to you.
We learned a lot about ourselves as parents, we learned we are strong, resilient. You were and always will be our first born and our only daughter and we are proud to talk about you to anyone who asks.
Thank you for being our daughter
Love from Mam and Dad
And of course, your brothers Ronan and David
