Dear Lucy-Anne

Dear Lucy-Anne,
Although it has been almost 30 years since you were born on a hot July day 1993, you are still very much remembered, loved, and missed by your dad and me, and the two brothers who came after you. You are talked about by your two brothers Ronan and David, as if they had known you, keeping your wonderful memory alive for all of us.
Our first born, the anticipation of your arrival and the excitement at becoming parents was truly unimaginable. We looked forward to bringing you home and you growing up in the beautiful area we live in, in North Cork. We thought of the days when we would walk with you to the river to paddle and throw stones, the fun we would have. We spoke about where you would go to school, and what other babies born the same year would be in your class. Although we did not know if you were a boy or a girl, it didn’t matter, you were our first born and we were waiting to welcome you.
Sadly, your time in this world was short, but for your vigorous kicks we were never to know you awake and smiling. We had so looked forward to seeing you and hearing your first cry. The silence at your birth was deafening, no cry, no noise, nothing. That empty silence filling the room. Yet you were beautiful, with your round chubby face and black hair like your dads, and the weight of you in my arms that day, when the nurse finally handed you to me, I can still feel. 8lbs 10oz and beautiful. But still, so still. it was heartbreaking.
We are so sad that you missed out on the wonderful life you could and should have had. Growing up in the countryside, surrounded by the fields, making friends, going on sleepovers, learning about makeup, and developing your own personal sense of style, as only a young woman can. All our hopes and dreams were lost for you the day you were born. What would you be when you grew up, would you be a tom-boy, climbing trees and skinning your knees, or would you be a girly girl, surrounded by pink and ribbons, who knows? But no matter what you would have been, we would have supported you in every way. We would have so enjoyed seeing you all dressed up for your Communion, Confirmation and in later years, heading with some good-looking boy, to the debs, dressed in a beautiful dress. Or looking forward to the day when your dad might walk you down the aisle in your wedding day.
All these things you have been denied and we have been denied the joy of seeing you grow from a little girl into the beautiful woman we know you would have become. Who knows, maybe you would have been a famous dancer or writer or artist.
We are so blessed to have had you in our lives even for such a brief, sad time. You shaped the people we are today, by just simply being born, and for that we will always be grateful to you.
We learned a lot about ourselves as parents, we learned we are strong, resilient. You were and always will be our first born and our only daughter and we are proud to talk about you to anyone who asks.

Thank you for being our daughter

Love from Mam and Dad
And of course, your brothers Ronan and David

My Precious Firstborn Grandchild, Liam

Our little Liam was stillborn on Tuesday 22nd March 2011 @ 13h30. He was a much-loved little boy growing in his Mama’s tummy. We so looked forward to meeting him. His room was prepared, all his clothes were washed and packed away, his car seat in the car.
I got a phone call at school at 08h30 on the morning of the 22nd March. My son-in-law’s words were..
We have lost Liam….his heart’s not beating.
The worst day of our lives….. he was a beautiful little boy, perfectly formed with huge eyes and brown hair.
We mourn our loss every day. Liam is thought about every day. We celebrate his birthday, Easter, Christmas etc by planting a tree and sending up balloons to Heaven.
His sister, Lana, was born 11 months to the day that he died. She is an absolute blessing and the light of our lives. She knows that she has a big brother in Heaven and talks about him. She shares all her milestones with him too.
Losing a child is the worst thing that could happen to any family… mother, father, siblings and grandparents alike, mourn the loss with absolute sadness.
A Little Lifetime Foundation helped me a lot… all the way from Ireland to Cape Town, South Africa.
I could light a candle whenever I felt sad ( which was most of the time).
We don’t cry anymore….. we shed a tear on special days… but time has healed our wounds. Liam’s sister has not taken his place but she has helped us to overcome our grief…. she is the sunshine in our lives and we are truly grateful and blessed that we have her.
All my love
Granny Margie xxx

Never Forgotten

Today is the day before our daughters 28th birthday, and I felt that today I would write about her. Lucy-Anne was born on a beautiful sunny July day in 1993. weighing in at 8lbs 10oz, with beautiful black hair just like her Daddy. It is a lifetime ago to some but to us it is only like the blink of an eye. Lucy-Anne was our first born and a very much wanted baby. Sadly her time with us was not to be and she was Still-born on July 27th 1993. We only found out the day before that she had passed away and sadly there was no medical reason for her passing, which in itself was difficult to take. As if you have a reason, it means you can process it, but without a reason, it seems so senseless. However Lucy-Anne was and has remained a huge part of all our lives. We went on to have two beautiful sons, now young men, who speak about their sister as if they too had known her. We marked all the milestones in her life, her communion, confirmation, 18th and 21st birthdays, and there is hardly a day that goes by but she is not referred to in some sense. To lose a baby at any stage in pregnancy is unimaginable. But to keep their memory alive is of utmost importance. Speak about them often, cry for the life they would have had but most of all remember them with love. They will always be a part of your family.

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